October 2007

Editor's Note

One of my big worries as a parent is that I’ll lose track of what really matters. With the perpetual flurry of information flying at me and the constant distractions that daily life provides, it is all too easy to look busy, get exhausted and yet still wonder at the end of the day if I paid attention to the right things.

I don’t personally know Rich and Julie Hehn, the parents of 27 children profiled in our feature story “From Ethiopia to Edmonds,” but from what I’ve learned about this remarkable family, the Hehns must be Zen masters at keeping focused on what’s needed to give children what they need to thrive. In my book, Rich and Judy Hehn hover in the vicinity of sainthood.

I’ve long believed that moms and dads need not seek out opportunities for spiritual growth or personal development – the twisted path of parenthood will give plenty of opportunity in the character-building department.

Consider these lessons:

If you have ever navigated the deep and stormy waters of a two-year-old having a bad day, you’ve danced on the outer edges of sanity and learned to take a breath and hold on. And in the time it’s taken you to drive a four-year-old to the park, she’s likely fired several meaning of life questions from the back seat of the car and demanded short answers.

To build up the muscle of patience, you don’t need to mediate for hours in an empty room. Just try teaching a baby that prefers your shoulder for slumber to fall asleep in his crib or taking your 16-year-old on her first driving lesson.

Should you wish to learn to “be here now,” practice it every time you ask your child a question and just really listen to his answer.

And if you want to practice that fine skill of paying attention to what really counts and not getting distracted by the mundane and trivial, consider this fact that caught my attention recently:

Food Lifeline serves over 218,000 hungry children a year in their food banks in Western Washington.

We’re parents, so we don’t need to be told what hunger does to a child’s disposition and ability to focus on school work. It’s pretty basic.

When we started our new section A Full Plate last month in Seattle’s Child, we did so because food is at the heart of home. It nourishes bodies, and families connect to each other around a shared meal. And just as important, we have the responsibility to see to it that no kids go hungry in our community.

I’ll lug the groceries from the car to the refrigerator multiple times this month, load up on candy for the 700 (!) trick or treaters that come to our door and prepare the usual Halloween décor – cheesecloth soaked in liquid starch and dried to look like ghosts and a rubber glove filled with water and stuck in the freezer to give us the traditional icy hand. I’ll also take 10 minutes to go to www.foodlifeline.org/ and make a donation that repeats every month.

Together we’ll keep our attention on what really matters.

Ann Bergman, Editor/Publisher
abergman@seattleschild.com

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Seattle's Child, a publication of the Washington Post Company
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