October 2007

Ethiopia to Edmonds: Couple Builds Family of 27

By Christina Harper

Julie Hehn lovingly tends to her daughter with as much kindness and care as any mother would bestow on a new child.

Three-year-old Rahel is tiny, silent, skinny, yet her belly is a huge bubble, the kind you see on those African babies who need food – and love. Her head bent toward her chest, Rahel rolls her big round eyes upward to stare from under her heavy black lids. She has a look of apprehension, but she has nothing to fear.

Rahel is in the hands of an expert mother, one who has 26 other children. The Edmonds school teacher has done this many, many times before.

In the Beginning

As far back as she can remember, Hehn, who was adopted when she was a baby, wanted to run an orphanage. Growing up, she saved money in the hope that her dream would come true. At school, she remembers thinking that although there were a lot of things in the world she could do nothing about, children were different.

“I will help the children who are presented to me,” she declared.

So far, at 52, life has presented her with a total of 27 children, three of her own and 24 adopted. Of the 27 children, 16 of them live at home, most of them having come from Ethiopia.

The path of motherhood began for Hehn in 1977 when she lived in California. She gave birth to three children in three years and two months, and then she and her first husband adopted an 8-year-old who had been abused and needed a loving home.

It “truly was a baptism by fire,” Hehn says.

A few years later, they brought another two children into the family, and in 1993 began looking at overseas adoptions. The couple first investigated adopting from China, but at that time the Chinese government was not allowing international adoptions to couples who already had biological children. However, while attending a presentation on Ethiopian adoptions, her husband leaned over and said, “Well, China’s out. But Ethiopia looks interesting.”

The couple learned about two brothers, Asrat, 9, and Amanuel, 7, and their sister, Tamenech, 4, who needed a home. An early photo shows the three children with beaming smiles. Along with the promise of a new family and a new life in the United States came the first pair of shoes for Asrat.

Everyday things delighted the children. For example, they would make Hehn stop every time they drove by a fountain near their home in Modesto, Calif.

When two of the Hehn children were accepted to study at Pacific Northwest Ballet in Seattle, the family packed up and moved to the Puget Sound area. One daughter, Kristine, became a ballet teacher.

Hehn began doing what she loves, teaching special education in Edmonds. She remembers the promise she made to her husband before they moved. “This is it,” she said. No more children.

But when a young boy in foster care needed support, Hehn called her husband and said, “Remember what I told you?”

“You need to join AA,” said Hehn’s number one son, Chuck. “Adoptions Anonymous.”

One more girl, a baby in need, was brought into the brood in 1995. Then, after 23 years of marriage, Hehn was left alone to take care of 11 children when her husband died.

Beginning Again

Rich Hehn, 46, an elementary librarian in the Edmonds School District, wasn’t even scheduled to be at the summer math workshop for teachers. He’s glad he went. As he approached a table, he could overhear the conversation, people talking about their children. “Julie was yackety, yack, yacking about her kids,” he says.

She thought Rich Hehn was adorable. But when she realized the blond, good-looking guy was overhearing what she was saying about her 11 children, she thought, “Kiss that one goodbye.”

Rich Hehn, from a family of eight, wasn’t fazed by what he heard. To him, big families were the norm. “The fact that he dated me was amazing,” Julie Hehn says.

In August 1999, with all of Julie Hehn’s children looking on, Rich Hehn sang “On This Night of a Thousand Stars” from Evita to his bride.

Being catapulted into a house full of children wasn’t an issue for Rich Hehn, but he does recall a warning from one of his young students. “Mr. Hehn, if she’s adopted this many kids, she’s probably going to do it again,” the savvy student said.

By that time, four of the children had moved out of the house, which only meant there was more room for new ones. Despite all the kids, the previously childless Rich Hehn was drawn by the idea of adopting a baby.

The Hehns called Adoption Advocates International (AAI) in Port Angeles. One Saturday they met with a social worker as part of the required home study, and on Monday they got a call. Misrak was a young Ethiopian girl, 7 or 8 years old, already in the United States, who needed a home.

“We went from doing the paperwork to ‘can you take this child now?’” Julie Hehn says.

Within 10 days, Misrak was in Edmonds. She slept on top of Julie Hehn for a few weeks and had to be hand-fed bread and tea as she adjusted to her new life.

Shortly after, the Hehns heard about baby Theodros, or Teddy as he is called, and at the same time decided to add two older children, a brother and sister, to their throng.

Misrak recognized the two, Workeneh, 12, and Amelework, 10. They had all been friends in the orphanage. In America, they would become brothers and sisters.

Ethiopia Bound

Julie and Rich Hehn traveled to Ethiopia for a two-week visit, arriving in Addis Ababa on Sept. 11, 2001, the Ethiopian New Year and one of the worst days in U.S. history. They saw the tragedy unfold on television. Although warnings were issued to American visitors, the Hehns still accomplished their adoption mission.

The two older children met their new parents at the airport and brought flowers, a tradition on the holiday.

They headed out to pick up Teddy. The sight of the tiny, soft baby – his new son – left Rich Hehn breathless. It felt like his heart jumped out of his body. “It’s the most amazing thing,” Rich Hehn says. “Words don’t fit into that. It was a pure joy.”

At 5 months old, Teddy weighed less than 8 pounds. During the first two weeks with the Hehns, he gained 4 pounds.

The people of Ethiopia touched Rich Hehn. He ate traditional foods, such as fermented bread stuffed with stew and lots of dishes spiced with cayenne pepper. He noticed the traffic flow where road signals are few and the cars fight for space with cows, and learned that a car honk means “go ahead of me.” He watched a coffee ritual where participants burn incense and cut grass, laying it around the pot.

At an orphanage in Addis Ababa, they met 15-year-old Yemisrach, who, once she turned 16, would no longer be eligible for international adoption. Her siblings could have flown off to homes overseas, and Yemisrach would have been left alone. Julie Hehn couldn’t let that happen. When she saw how sweet the girl was with Teddy, she looked at her husband.

“Did you see that?” Julie Hehn said.

“Yeah, we better adopt her,” he responded.

When they returned to Edmonds, the Hehns began the process for adopting Yemisrach and her siblings. They sold raffle tickets at Stella Mia Italian restaurant in Bothell. Julie and Rich Hehn co-own the restaurant with Hehn’s daughter Kristine and her husband, Bruno Girardi. They raised $2,170 to help defray the cost. Their customers were happy to help.

Yemisrach, her brother Abebe, 11, and her sister Belaynesh, 8, had been in five different orphanages waiting for a family for more than four years. Not only was Yemisrach coming to America with her brother and sister, but she soon became the sister of her friend from the orphanage, Misrak.

“I think it was God’s way of giving us a small piece, then another piece,” Julie Hehn says.

Putting the Pieces Together

More pieces were offered to the Hehns in the form of Marta, 16, and Abraham, 11. Having a family with so many other kids they may have known in Ethiopia was comforting. Teddy, now 6, has a twin friend and brother in Tariku, also 6.
During this past year the Hehns have added five children to their family: Semira, 5, Hailemichael, 9, Samuel, 9, Tsegenet (Tarikwa), 10, and Rahel.

Julie Hehn says that she really does not go looking for a child. One of her children waited to be adopted for five years. That child is HIV positive, a disease that has hit Ethiopia’s people hard.

“I was finally able to work with an agency that would do it,” Hehn said of the adoption.

Hailemichael also waited five years to find his forever family in the Hehns. He was bumping into walls when they first met, and when he came to Edmonds, he quickly got glasses. He’s still a little shaky, but can now cut a corner without a problem.

His family told him not to tell his new parents that he had a sister. He was in the United States before he spilled his secret to Julie Hehn. “Mom, can you bring my baby sister home?”

“There was not a question in his mind that I wouldn’t do this,” Julie Hehn said. When she thought out loud about where his sister could sleep, the young boy told her not to worry, that his sister could sleep with him.

Julie Hehn called her husband. “Guess what? He has a sister.”

“Well, I guess we have another one,” Rich Hehn said.

Julie Hehn is used to people asking questions about her family. “You must be crazy,” is the most common comment. The other question is, “How can you afford it?”

Julie Hehn works part-time at Edmonds Elementary School. She is studying to be a principal and expects to have achieved that goal by May. She also has a part-time job with adoption agency AAI. She travels to Ethiopia as their program director of education, and helps a school and orphanage to develop curriculum that serves children who might eventually be adopted overseas.

In addition to the couple’s co-ownership of Stella Mia and his library job, Rich Hehn is launching a Web-based business, www.mostlykidsbooks.com. More than 16,000 titles of new and used children’s books, along with accessories such as journals and diaries, will be available in October.

“Money is money. You spend it on what you want anyway,” Julie Hehn says.

The family shops at stores like Costco and figures that the grocery bill for one month is between $800 and $1,000. “We’re at Top Foods at least once a day,” Rich Hehn says.

The Ethiopian connection is an ongoing one for the couple. Julie Hehn has gone back and forth for 14 years, working with school teachers. She is also getting ready to start Ethiopian culture classes after school at Woodway Elementary. The classes will be open to the public.

Rich Hehn plans on continuing to visit the country, having a special interest in educational libraries for children in Addis Ababa. He also supports a Donkey Library. The donkeys pull carts with books up to the schools. A library in the orphanage African HIV Orphans: Project Embrace (AHOPE) might serve as a community center so that children can come in after school. “Instead of going to shine shoes, they can go to the library,” Rich Hehn says. Children and adults coming to read will also mix with kids who have HIV, hopefully softening the stigma for people with the disease.

Rich Hehn would like to see help for Ethiopians in the way of infrastructure and engineering. Agencies are doing a good job of adopting children out, but people from overseas can help Ethiopia become a place where its children can stay, he says.

The End?

As the children get older and head to college they all get jobs at Stella Mia. “My children all work hard,” Julie Hehn says. “We do children a disservice by not having them be a part of working together as a family.”

Besides, the Hehn kids might be happy and grateful to come to this family, but they eventually turn into regular old kids, Rich Hehn says. “My kids don’t need Nike or wear Converse. They wear what there is. At the same time they have regular things.”

He remembers when he made dinner for Amelework after she had been here about three weeks. She pushed the plate back and said “No thank you. I don’t like it.”

“That, to me, is universal. Kids are kids,” Rich Hehn says.

The Hehn home is immaculate and there is a feeling of peace and calm, even when Teddy and his brother Tariku are racing around the back yard jumping in and out of their summer swimming pool.

Julie Hehn is the cornerstone of the family. Just watch for a few minutes and a wet and wild kid will run to her: “MOM! Look at ME!” She gives that child her full attention, encouraging him and taking delight in his every diving pose.

Looking at her relaxing with her children in her Edmonds back yard would make anyone realize that Hehn loves her life. This is her heart. She didn’t ask for this. She never decided that she was going to go out and adopt all these children. When it comes to whether or not she and Rich Hehn will adopt again, their door is always open to the possibility.

“I never say never,” Julie Hehn says, smiling at Rahel. “I figure you know when they are yours.”

Christina Harper is a Snohomish County freelance writer with a focus on health, family and international adoption. She is the mother of “two wonderful, fabulous girls from China.”

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