January 2007

Editor's Note: The Support of Each Other

by Wenda Reed

I recently attended a local YMCA community forum on “Building Strong and Healthy Families.” Parents, teens and community leaders were invited to break into groups and talk about topics including early childhood learning, family programs and activities, the teen years and balancing home and work.

Whatever the specific topic, when the small groups reported back to the “town meeting,” their message was the same: Families feel alone and wish they knew how to connect with other families with children the same ages, with similar interests and needs.

Leading our discussion group, Rep. Ruth Kagi asked us about our families’ support systems when we were growing up. Most of us mentioned extended family, the neighborhood and the church or ethnic community. Some of those supports have faded today, especially as many communities have no strong neighborhood center.

“Lots of families used to be all around with kids playing in the streets,” one mother said. “Now many of us are isolated. We go everywhere in our cars.”

A 24-year-old single mother with a 3-year-old girl lives in one area, works full time in another neighborhood and goes to school full time somewhere else. She has the help of her own mother, but doesn’t have time for a consistent support group with other parents. She and others expressed a wish that more programs were offered outside of work hours and that childcare was a part of community events.

The biggest complaint was that organizations from the YMCA to school districts, city departments, community colleges, hospitals and youth groups all have their own listings of services, support groups and events, but there’s no one brochure or online resource for everything in a community. Rather than competition, parents asked for collaboration to make “comfortable places for families” and to “list everything that’s available.”

So what can we do?

Many parents and professionals mentioned hospitals and pediatrician’s offices as good starting points for disseminating vital information, and even for building support groups. A retired pediatrician mentioned that he successfully tried holding group visits with a nurse practitioner to introduce young parents to each other and to give out vital information.

If you are starting out with a new baby, call our office (206-441-0191) and ask for the latest copy of Sound Baby, with its lists of support groups and resources. Rather than looking at the whole bewildering range of possibilities, pick a small group – PEPS (Program for Early Parent Support) in King and South Snohomish Counties, Listening Mothers on the Eastside, MOMS Clubs all over, or support groups through some hospitals or places of worship.

As children move into the preschool years, consider the coop preschools with their parent involvement and education, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), playgroups, Mom Meetup groups on the Internet, or other parents at your child’s preschool or childcare. In the school age years, it’s easier to connect with other parents through the PTA or by picking one activity – perhaps 4-H or Scouts or youth group. Sometimes if we’re hopping from class to class and activity to activity, we never have time to connect with anyone.

The burdens of parenthood are less heavy if we’re sharing them and the joys can be magnified as we enjoy them with others.

©2007
Seattle's Child, a publication of the Washington Post Company
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